Letters to Home

Instead of opening his letters at breakfast today, he went to the common room to open them. He knew that his mom had been dating some lawyer and she said they were getting serious. So every time he got a letter from her, he waited to open it. He was always alone when he did this in case he got angry or sad or upset. He didn't like the fact that his mom was dating some guy and his dad was remarried. He thought they were going to get back together and still be in love. But Jude was wrong. They weren't going to get back together and he was just going to have to deal with it. He didn't like this at all, he didn't like the situation he was in. Why couldn't they still be in love and be happily married like they once were? It couldn't be that hard to be in love. In fairy tales it looked so easy. Whatever happened to true love's kiss? Did that not count? They had to be in love at some point, right? Or else they would have never married. Apparently, his father was in love again since he had married Janet several years ago. Jude didn't like Janet even though she was trying her best.

He was glad that his dorm was empty. Daniel must have been out doing whatever Daniels do. So, Jude sat on the floor and ripped open his letter.

To my beautiful son,

It's been so long since you've written. Letters go both ways, you know. You're getting so old but please tell me you still need me around. Thirteen. I had you thirteen years ago. That was one of the best days of my life and I'm sure your father could say the same. You were our little Christmas baby. You were so cute and chubby. I found myself looking through old photographs yesterday and I happened to come across one that I think you'll love. I loved it. It had brought tears to my eyes. And as I write this, tears are coming to my eyes. I'm very emotional right now and I want to share the good news. But first I need to explain something to you.

We were in love, me and your father. But we fell apart. It was no one's fault. Not mine, not his, not yours. I think it was just life getting in the way. It was mutual, Jude. I'm sorry that you got hurt from the divorce, I'm so sorry. We did think of you, we did. We thought about staying together just for you but that wouldn't help anyone. We would just fight and yell. We didn't want you to see that. So, we divorced. We had you on our minds and in our hearts. We did the right thing.

I do not want to anger you, Jude. I think this is such great news but I'm worried about your reaction. Arthur is such a great man and I love him very much. No, we're not getting married any time soon. The timing isn't right. But the news is, I'm pregnant. You're going to be a big brother. I hope you'll keep your heart open to the child growing inside of me and I want you to be a great big brother. I hope you will be. Please write back, I want to know what you're thinking. I love you so so much that my heart might burst. Remember that? I used to say it before you went to bed after tucking you in.

I love you so much my heart might burst,

Mommy

Jude felt the tears run down his face before he even knew he was crying. Pregnant? Brother? Big brother? He was going to be a big brother? He didn't know if he should be happy and angry. He always wanted to be a big brother but he wanted to be the older brother of his mother and father's child. he knew it was hard to take in and he was having a hard time taking in the news. Things happened for a reason, right? He was going to love his baby brother or sister no matter what. He had finally accepted that his parents weren't going to get back together. He wiped his face before getting up and sitting on his bed. He pulled some parchment, some ink, and his quill from his night stand and began to write.

Mommy,

I got your letter. I miss you so much. I love you. I know I should have written but I got side tracked. I got your letter. I've accepted things. I can't wait to meet him or her. I want it to be a boy.

Love you til my heart bursts,
Jude