Scared of Failure.

Parker's third year was going by quickly and it seemed like it was slipping past him. He didn't mind that the school part was going by fast, he hated school, but he did mind that everything else was going by. He wanted to remember everything and he wanted to live in the moment. He wanted to step back and enjoy the little things. But as the year was ending, people were stressing about whether or not they were going to fail. He wasn't so worried though, but it was no fun when everyone else was. Jonas was included in the group of students that seemed to be worried about everything. He just wished his friend would take a god damn chill pill and just shut up about failing.

Parker had just about enough of it so he climbed out of his bed and jumped on top of Jonas' bed, careful not to actually jump on his friend. "Shut up," he said as he covered his friend's mouth with his hand. "You're going to pass and you're gonna do great next year. So shut up and stop talking about failing." He leaned down and put his face close to his friend's before uncovering his mouth. For some reason his heart was beating fast and a thin layer of sweat began to form on his forehead. What was wrong with him? Why did his mouth feel like cotton all of a sudden?

In that moment he realized that he could look into those chocolate eyes for a very long time without getting bored of them. He could never get bored of Jonas, no matter what he did. He always kept him on his toes even when he knew what he was going to do next. Shit, he thought before pressing his pierced lips onto his roommate's. In that moment he realized that was what he wanted to do for a long time. He realized that he was wrapped around his finger and would do anything for this boy.

Jonas' parents were giving him an ultimatum. He needed to either pass all his exams or he didn't get to go on vacation this summer. It seemed like all Jonas ever did was study and do homework now. And with only a few days until finals, he was extremely stressed out.

He was laying on his bed, complaining about whatever he thought about. There wasn't any rhyme or reason to his complaints. Some of it was relevant to his situation (School is hard) and some of it wasn't (Kayla and Greg are gross and I hate them). And he wasn't actually sure if he was speaking French, Dutch or English. All he knew was that he was talking.

But apparently, thank broke something in Parker because he was suddenly beside him in bed with a hand over his mouth. Jonas couldn't argue, even though he really wanted to. He was really surprised by his friend's actions in a weird way. Jonas had a strange urge to touch him, but he wouldn't act on it.

It seemed like they were kind of just looking at each other for quite some time before Parker kissed him. Jonas wondered what was going through his friend's mind, but he wasn't going to argue. And how was one supposed to respond to their first kiss positively?

And was Parker maybe just desperate? He seemed to be pretty into girls, not boys. But what did Jonas know? Maybe he was missing something. But once again, could he argue?

Jonas pushed Parker away from himself for a second. He scooted over in his bed so Parker had more room to exist in the same space. "I suppose that's one way to make someone stop talking," he said smiling. "You can continue. If you want, I mean. You don't have to. Not that I'm pressuring you," he corrected, back tracking. "Crud. I'm sorry."

Parker hadn't been thinking properly but he couldn't say that he didn't regret his decision. He stood by it even if things turned to shit after this. He wanted to do this for so long, he knew that now. All of those years of figuring out the thoughts in his head and the feelings in his heart. He was trying to figure himself out for so long and he still was. This was the part of him that he was just discovering and he felt free now. He felt like a door had been opened and he was beginning to find himself. He was finding himself in his best friend's lips.

He was slightly disappointed when his friend pulled away but quickly collected himself. He couldn't show his disappointment. A small smile formed on his lips when Jonas moved over to give him more room. "Shut up," he grinned before connecting their lips once again.

But I'm so much better at talking, Jonas wanted to say. Although, that would be a lie, considering he didn't really know what he had been saying for the past half hour or so.

"Wait a second," Jonas said, pulling away. "You don't find this weird or anything? 'Cause I was pretty sure you were the king of heterosexuality for a while. You aren't just messing with me, are you? Not that I don't trust you or that I don't like you back, but because I'm really nervous in general and part of me is really happy and the other part of me is really defensive because it doesn't make sense for you to like me because I'm me and you're you."

Jonas wasn't quite sure if he was making sense again, but he wanted the moment to continue, so he said everything as frantically and quickly as he could. But he also had to get his feelings out, so how else?