Stunned

Charon was shaking as he read his mother's letter. No, no, no, not possible, nope, no way. His dad had left them. Charon had no idea what to do or how to feel. Angry? Sad? Confused? All three? Apparently since he'd been attending Beauxbatons they'd been fighting, a lot. She'd come home one day and found his father's goodbye letter. Charon tore up the letter and did something he'd hadn't done in years, he cried. He was so glad to be alone in the moment as hot tears rolled down his cheeks, always composed Charon, sobbing like a baby. He heard the click of the classroom door and curse, but he just couldn't stop crying and didn't even look up to see who it was. "I-I'm sorry. I-I'll leave."

Cassie wanted to be alone and collect her thoughts, ever since she had started her fourth year she had been confused. She wasn't sure how she felt about anything, even after writing a letter to her dead father. Which helped her for a moment, but then she began to think more and more. About her mom, her dad, her aunt, Percy, her friends, school. It was all too much for her and she needed a break from it all. But she couldn't get away from her thoughts, they would always be with her.

She didn't notice that someone else was there til they spoke up. It was Charon and he was...crying. Cassie wasn't good at these kind of things, she douldn't even express her own emotions. "Char? Are you okay?" Way to go Cassie, she thought, of course he's not okay. "What's wrong?" She had come to sort out her feelings, but that would have to wait.

"I-I'm f-f-ine or really upset..." He murmured, rubbing his watery eyes. "Maybe both." He half walked half shuffled over to her, actually kind of grateful it was Cassie, someone he could feel secure in expressing his emotions to. "M-My d-dad left my mum and I." He whimpered out, feeling pathetic. He thought about all the times his dad had been a little harsh with training him to play quidditch, it was nothing too major, but now he felt like he was only doing it to punish Charon for existing, even though that wasn't the case. His father never even written to him while he was at school before, except for a few paragraphs in one his mother's letters occasionally. He rested his head on her shoulder and cried softly, not feeling embarrassed anymore, just the feeling of tears rolling down his cheeks was like the expelling of his father from his mind, each thought was a thought of relief. The memories leaving him, even if they'd always be there. It was almost like cleansing himself from the taintedness his father left him.

Cassandra knew the feeling of a parent leaving all too well, her mother had left her when she was about four. She pulled the boy into a hug and kissed the top of his head, almost like a mother. "It'll be alright. I know what you're going through, its okay." She began to rub his back and she was sad for him. It was sad to see someone so sad like that and have no control over anything. "You'll get over it eventually, but you'll never forget. It might take a while, but I promise you will."

She began to think about her own mother and how she had left her when her father died. She said she was going to her aunt's to spend the night. Poot innocent Cassie, four years old and believing that her mother would come back. Her teddy bear in her hand, her suit case in another, saying good bye to her mother that wouldn't come back til she was fourteen. She disowned her mother after that, it would hurt too much to forgive her.

Charon snuggled up against Cassandra like a little kid. "It's not fair." He whispered softly. "It's not, it's not, it's not. Mum is so good to him, why would he do this to us? He's a prat, I hate him. I hate him so much. He's a weasel a jerk, a prick, a wanker, everything, everything. He's a loser. I never want to see him again." Charon whimpered out. "How could he not even say goodbye to me? What did I do to him? Am I terrible Cassie? It must be my fault. I'm wretched, a terrible person. It's not fair. It's not fair at all."

Cassie wasn't used to to people opening up to her like this, it was weird to her. "I know its not, it really isn't. But it happens. I'm not going to beat around the bush about this cause I know what you're going through, but you're going to suffer no matter what. Its always going to be in your mind, but you have to learn to ignore it. Its really not worth it." She sighed, maybe it was time to tell someone about her mother and what she had done to her. Her mother was the reason why she kept to herself and never talked to anyone, she was afraid of getting hurt by another person. But there were a few people she could trust.

"Somtimes good bye hurts too much, I know about that. You didn't do anything, Char." She made the second year look at her, her hands on both sides of his face. "Now don't believe for a second that it is your fault, it was him. He did it. He was the problem, you weren't. I don't want you to believe for a minute that you were the reason he left or your mother. He was the one to make the horrible mistake of leaving your family. You are not terrible, you are an amazing person. Don't you believe other wise. Do not let him get to you, you don't deserve to feel about about him. He's not worth it at all."

Charon sniffled a little and looked up at her, finally having stopped crying. "Th-Thank you C-Cassandra." He mumbled softly. "You're like the big sister I don't have." Charon said his head back to on her shoulder. "I just don't get it, not at all, not even a little." He said gingerly. "I thought him and mom were happy together, and now I know that they weren't happy. I thought they were a lock to be together forever, but I guess not. Maybe mum will find a new guy, who will be a better dad." He said hopefully. "And if not, the two of us can be happy without my dad or anyone else in his place."

"You're not going to understand, not ever." Cassie was only four and thought for two years that her mother was going to to come back to her and love her. But now her mom was back and they never say a word to each other. She wasn't up for talking to her mother, even if she tried to make conversation. "Always look on the bright side, there's no use looking at the negative." Maybe she should take her own advice, she only seemed to be thinking about negative things lately. "You can't control what happened, but you can make the best of it. You just gotta stay postive." She wiped his tears that were still on his face, she was glad that he had stopped crying. Once his head was back on her shoulder, she hugged him again, rubbing his back. She was pretty good at this 'older sister' thing.

Charon hugged her back tightly. "I'm sorry for crying." He said, softly. "And you're right, think positive. I'm a good quidditch player. I have the best friends in the world. I'm living a nice life. Thank you Cassie." He smiled a small smile at her. It was nice to feel cared about and nice to feel protected by someone. Cassie made him feel safe and secure about his emotions. "C-Can I tell you a secret?" He asked, a bit more confidently. "It's a decently big one." He said, his cheeks rosying up. He needed to tell someone and Cassie was the perfect person to tell. There was no way she'd laugh at him.

Cassie was glad could help and was happy that Charon seemed to be in better mood. Thanks to her. Cassie felt proud about helping him and it made her feel great. It was the first she had felt that way since her mother had came back. "You can come to me whenever you need anything."

When Charon began to blush and ask Cassie if he could tell her a secret, she raised an eyebrow. "Of course you can." Whatever he had to say must have been a bit embarrassing or he wouldn't have been blushing, right? "Go ahead and tell me."

"I-uh...you know Louise P-Puchard?" Charon asked softly. "I like her. Like a lot." He mumbled. Charon felt how warm his cheeks were and sighed. "She's one of my closest friends and on the quidditch team and ah it's so embarrassing. I mean not that liking her is a bad thin because she's really, really, really pretty, and it's just awkward and I can't tell her, not yet anyways." He took a deep breath upon realizing he'd been talking really fast without taking any breaths. He sighed a little. "I wish I was in your year so I could tell her, if I tell her now it will be awkward." He decided, wistfully.

So, he was having girl troubles. Again, Cassie knew all about that. Was it right to like your best friend like the way she liked Percy? When they were together, Cassie's heart fluttered and her stomach did flips. "I think that right now, you should just focus on you and have a good time. Get to know her better, then later you can tell her how you feel." Again, some more advice Cassie should take. It was easier saying it to someone else than doing it herself. "Just people I'm older doesn't mean I don't have trouble talking to people I like. Its really hard to tell someone you like them, that's why I haven't. But, it can be easy if you get closer and make sure you have mutual feelings for each other." Cassie wasn't sure where she stood with Percy and she wasn't sure where Percy stood with her. It was difficult being a teen girl.

Charon nodded. "You're right Cassie." Charon smiled. "Sorry, if I ruined your time." He murmured. "We should do something fun to make up for it." He suggested. "Or we could just hangout here and talk. Whichever you'd prefer." His face had brightened up quite a bit, he looked at least somewhat happy. Charon was just feeling conflicted to say the least. He wanted an excuse to not think about his father or anything, just to relax for a minute and be a kid, so that's what he was doing. It was better just to ignore his father's existence, and hope he never saw him again.

"You didn't ruin anything, I'm just glad I could help." It took her mind off of her own problems, even though it wasn't going to last and she was going to start thinking about it again. "If you don't mind, I'd rather just talk. At the moment, fun is a strange word to me and I'm not rwady for it." She was glad that Charon was feeling bettter and hoped that he would stay that way. That would be nice. "What do you wanna talk about?" If she picked the subject, she was more likely to spill about her summer and she didn't want to make Charon even more upset.

Charon nodded. "What's wrong, Cassie?" He looked at her. "You helped me, now it's my turn to help you." Charon said simply. "If you're so upset that you can't have fun, it must be serious and I want to make you happy." He decided. "I am all ears, tell me." Charon smiled at her reassuringly and looked at her. He truly wanted to help her the ways she'd helped him. Without her he would've been really bitter about this whole thing, or cried a whole lot longer, or both, but now it was his turn to be the concerned one.

Cassie wasn't sure what to say, words couldn't express how she felt. Or they could, she hadn't tried to talk about it. She sighed, not knowing where to start. "So, my so called mother left when I was four. And she came back cause she ended somewhere to live. Not to see me. She tries to talk to me and it hurts too much to talk to her. I just can't deal with her." She also came out to her family and that made things even more confusing. She wasn't sure about her feelings, about anything. Everything was strange to her now and she didn't like it. She couldn't control anything.

Charon hugged Cassandra. "I'm sorry Cassie." He said softly. "She shouldn't put you through that, she made her choice, the wrong choice when she left." Charon couldn't imagine his dad coming back. Charon would probably slam the door right in his face, that's what he deserved, that's what her mother deserved too. "I can't believe she did that. Merlin, if it gets to testy with her there over the summer or over winter break you're more than welcome at my place, I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind flying you in." He said with a smile. "She's very good about stuff like that."

She felt tears come to her eyes, it was the first time she had cried about this and it felt kind of nice. Instead of keeping it all bottled in, she let it out and it made her feel a bit better. Not enough that she wouldn't feel sad again, cause she would. But at that moment, she was glad to get her feelings out.Even if she didn't tell the whole story behind it. Her mother always said things to her about being gay, mean things. She didn't like that she was gay and that she liked girls. She started to feel wrong for liking girls. Was it wrong to like girls? To like her friend?

Charon held her in a tight hug while she cried. When she seemed at least somewhat composed he leaned over to his bag and pulled out a couple bottles of orangey gold liquid. "My mum sent me some butterbeer with the letter. I was saving them, but this is the best time to have them." He handed a bottle to Cassandra and smiled. Charon uncapped his and took a sip. "Mmm..." He grinned a little. "Delicious." Charon chuckled softly. "I love butterbeer. It's my favorite since coming here. It's great in all types, hot, cold, even frozen." He grinned and took another sip.

Cassie wiped the tears from her face, it was pathetic to cry about this. Who cared what her mom thought? As long as Cassie was happy, that's all that mattered, right? She was tired of being judged by her mother, why did it bother her so much that her daughter liked girls? Cassie gave him a small smile and thanked him for the butterbeer. She hadn't had it in a long time and forgot what it tasted like. "I haven't had this in a long time." She took a sip of the liquid and smiled, she had forgotten how good it was. She nodded in a agreemet. "So good."

Charon smiled brighter. "See, happiness equals butterbeer." He laughed softly. "Feeling any better?" He asked hopefully. He really wanted her to after she'd put up with his sadness. He sipped at his butterbeer and thought about his dad and mum and everything. It was really terrible. Even if he now hated his father's existence, he was still his father. How could someone walk out on their child and wife? It was terrible. Ruddy freaking terrible. He didn't want to ever see his dad again. He didn't want Cassie to put up with her mum either. If he knew about Cassie's sexuality and the way her mother treated it he'd be even more angry.

Cassie giggled, butterbeer had made her a bit more happy. "A little. Thanks." He was being so nice to her and she was really greatful for that. It was nice to know that she had someone to talk to about this sort of thing. She could tell Percy too, but she hadn't. She didn't want her to know how miserable she was at home. "Can I tell you something? And you have to promise not to tell." This was a big step for her, she was ready to tell someone about coming out. This was it, there was no turning back. She held out her pinky, like young children did when they kept promises. "Pinky promise?" Nothing was more serious than a pinky promise.

"You can tell me anything." Charon linked pinkies with Cassandra, ready to know whatever secret she told him. It was clearly a big deal by the way she was acting. He just hoped she was ready to tell him whatever she was about to. Charon looked up at her and flashed a reassuring smile to her, letting her know it'd be okay. There was all kinds of secrets that you truly had to sign to secrecy for, there were situations where the secret was implied, like Cassandra seeing Charon cry. Then there were secrets you had to declare, secrets so personal it had to be reinforced that no one can know. He was very glad she trusted him enough with this secret. Charon decided that her and himself opening up to each other had been great for their friendship.

"I have another thing that has been bothering me, something important. Something that I wouldn't tell just anyone." She sighed, not knowing how to start this, not knowing the right words. She might as well come clean and say it. Before she chickened out. "Okay, so I came out to my mom and she's been giving me crap about it ever since. I'm not even sure how I feel anymore. She makes things confusing." Her hormones definitely said she was attracted to girls, but her mind told her it was wrong because of her mother. It was hard to get away from her mother's opinion and she was believing her mom. "Is it wrong for me to like girls? Cause I'm not sure anymore." She hoped he could answer this tough question.

Charon blinked and processed this rush of information before pulling her into a tight hug. "There's nothing wrong with liking girls Cassie, don't let her get to you. You're a wonderful person worth roughly a trillion times more to the world than her. Okay?She is just a sour old crab apple that's upset because you aren't groveling at her feet. I can't believe she'd even be like that to you." His eyebrows knitted together in quite a large amount of anger. "Don't worry about her. She needs you, you do not need her." He said and hugged her again. "Thank you for sharing this secret with me." He was proud she was brave enough to tell him.