If We Can't Bury The Past, We'll Just Have To Grin and Bear It

Odette felt a tingle of excitement and nervousness as she wrote in her journal. Today was the day. Quentin was coming to visit them for Christmas. She found herself over preparing for the visit, by helping make the food, making sure the house was clean, and she looked conservative and presentable. Everything had to be perfect. Her mother seemed to find it a bit funny that the girl was rushing around like a little pixie, but Odette really wanted to impress Quinn.

Taking a deep breath she put on the small necklace that he'd purchased for her the day they had gone shopping when she had just started at Beauxbatons. Looking at her appearance, she nodded. It was perfect. She on a simple white party dress with a small light green cardigan. Her hair was held in loose curls and she wore black flats so she would still be shorted than Quinn, though she had just recently started to wear heels around.

Hurrying downstairs with the presents, she placed them neatly under the tree and heard a knock at the door. Her heart froze and she felt a shiver crawl up her spine. For the first time in almost two years, she was going to see him again. She couldn't move, she was just frozen in place. She'd spent so much time worrying about the looks of everything, she hadn't prepared to even say anything to him. She'd just have to wing in. Odette suddenly felt a soft brush against her leg. It was Snow, her little Husky puppy, trying to reassure her that everything would be fine.

She smiled at the dog and scratched her ears softly. "You're right.." She whispered and took a step towards the Foyer. Quinn was already inside and was being greeted by their mother and her husband. Odette looked at him, wide eyed a bit. He had changed so much since she'd last seen him, but that could easily be said for the both of them. When the introductions with their mother were done, Odette was still standing in the doorway to the living room and looked at him with soft eyes, as he turned to look at her. "Hello Quentin.." She said breathlessly.

Though last year Quinn made it his job to avoid any family occasion that Odette would be at, he ended up agreeing to spend Christmas with his mother, despite the fact that Odette would most definitely be there. He didn't know if he had given Odette enough time, but his decision to go had been selfish in the first place. He was only going because Caleb and Paige had other plans for the holidays and he didn't want to be alone. He foraged what spare money he had to purchase gifts for his mother and her new husband and, of course, his sister, Odette.

He had bundled up and left with a large bag and his dogs on a leash and through apparation, was at the familiarity of his mother's house in no time. He put a smile on his face and knocked before he was greeted and let in by his mother.

"Mama!" He called in response, chipperly. He wrapped her in a one arm hug after dropping his bag. "It is so nice to meet you," He offered his hand to shake towards his new step-dad. It was weird to him and maybe even a bit sad that she had remarried instead of gotten back with his father, but Quentin was more glad that she was not alone. "These are my dogs, Juneau and Brutus. I hope you don't mind that I brought them but Caleb wasn't going to be home to watch them and I couldn't just leave them." He introduced, taking off the leashes of his Husky and his black Labrador.

He stood back up to see a familiar face coming down the stairs towards him. Quinn smiled, friendly enough. "I think being siblings means we can cut the formalities and you can call me Quinn," He replied to her pristine greeting towards him. "You look lovely. Merry Christmas," He said and then hugged her with one arm, a hug that was a bit forced in nature and not as warm as those from the past.

Odette watched as he explained how he had brought his dogs along and smiled at the small lab and husky. They were as adorable as her own dog and she loved them just the same. However when her brother finally looked up at her, her blood ran cold. He didn't seem stern, but more strict, for lack of a better word, not like the happy-go-lucky boy, she'd grown up with.

"Thank you." She said in regard to his comment about her looking nice. "Merry Christmas to you as well." She said politely and looked down at her feet. She was a full grown 18 year old girl, now that her birthday had passed earlier that year. She was going to be an adult after she passed her seventh year at Beauxbatons, but next to Quinn, she felt more like a little girl.

She bit her lip and forced a smile at her brother. She didn't know how to feel about his stiffness towards her, but she figured that would just have to grin and bear it. "Um, Dinner is ready when you'd like to eat." She announced to everyone and tried to smile. "I made sure to make Figgy Pudding." She said and took Quinn's coat to go hang it up in the closet. After that introducltion between them both, she needed a moment.

"Let me drop off my stuff and wash up and I'll be down in a moment," Quentin replied to the request of dinner, smiling amiably at each family member.

He traveled up the familiar staircase to the familiar bedroom where he used to sleep during the summer days when he was too mad at Odette to stay at their father's. It brought a pain to his chest walking into that room again and staring at the quidditch posters and collectables from his school days which adorned the room. Those were the days when the pain was fresh, when the wound of discovering that dreams and reality were never meant to cross was first inflicted. Quentin sat down on his bed then dropped so that he was facing the ceiling. There was a reason why he avoided home and Odette.

After he cleansed his system of sorrowful nostalgia, Quentin ambled towards the bathroom and ran some hot water in the sink, splashing some over his face and then combing his hair before lathering his hands in soap and rinsing them clean. He flicked the water off his slender hands and then immersed them in the warmth of a dry towel.

Feeling a bit better, Quentin put on a grin before he entered the dinning room and took his seat between Mama and his step-dad, right across from Odette. "Smells fantastic!" Quentin cheerfully noted. "Caleb and I don't usually eat such big and fancy meals. But then again, neither of us really make a lot of money," Quinn added, filling his plate with turkey and mashed potatoes and green beans. He ate with gusto, only pausing to answer questions from his step-dad.

"I work at a daycare. It pays alright. I really enjoy working with kids though. They're so cute." He laughed nervously as the topic of him having kids came into question. "I don't think I'll have to worry about that for awhile. Paige and I are doing fine, thanks." The conversation faltered there and Quinn took the opportunity to ask a question of his own. "What do you think you'll be doing, Odette?" He addressed his younger sister for the first time since sitting at the table.

When Quinn came into the dining room she smiled a little bit. His comment about the food made her feel a little bit better about everything in general. She'd done her best to make sure that everything not only looked good, but tasted good as well. She didn't really know what to say to him so she just didn't ask tons of questions like her mother was doing, she had tried for so long to get him to tell her about his life, but now that he was opening up. She was terrified that she'd slip up in some way.

A good 10 minutes had passed Odette had just been picking at her food and staring at her plate most the dinner. No one had really spoken with her, not that it really mattered. However when one question was asked, it came from none other that Quinn. She looked up at him. Her soft green eyes looked confused and pale features nervous. She didn't want to say the wrong thing. "Um....I was thinking about going into teaching, something with language." She replied. It was true. She did, but what would he think about it?

Odette seemed nervous unlike Quinn had ever seen her and for a single moment, Quinn thought that maybe he had been to hard on her the past few months. However, he made no comment about it and waited with patience for her to answer his question.

"Interesting," Quinn replied. "I never knew you were into different languages," Quentin added, feeling like he was resembling his father when conversations got awkward. "Are you nervous for your N.E.W.T.s? I know I was," Quinn added. This was going to be a big year for her, as his seventh year had been for him. He fiddled with the food on his plate before asking one last question, one that had been eating him since the moment he had stepped into their mother's house. "Have you got yourself a boyfriend?" He asked, hesitantly. "Or girlfriend!" he added quickly. Merlin knew he didn't care either way, as long as she was no longer seeing that good for nothing sleaze, Fane Blevins.

Odette nodded as he asked her about her N.E.W.T.'s, and it was true, she was really nervous. She'd tried to start studying early in the year so she'd get a good score. Looking down at her plate she sat there in awkward silence until he asked her on final question. Boyfriend? Why was he asking that. That word had been the soul reason that he had stopped talking to her. Thinking back to all the people she knew, was there anyone that potentially liked her? No. She didn't have any friends at Beauxbatons, besides Fane, but she had stopped talking to him at the beginning of her sixth year and she knew she definately didn't consider Mabel a friend.

"I do not really have any friends at Beauxbatons..um..." She fiddled with her words. "I spend most of my time studying or..." she trailed off. She really didn't do much else with her time. "That's about it.." She shrugged and sighed. She had to be the most boring person on the face of the earth. "However, to answer your question. No, I do not." She said shoving a forkful of food into her mouth. She had not really wanted to admit how things were really going at school, but she knew she needed to be honest with Quinn if she wanted him to trust her again.

Their mother made some sort of maternal comment about how she was sure Odette was being dramatic when she said she didn't have friends, but Quinn blew that off. Odette was an adult, not one of the kids at the daycare and he knew he had to be forward with her. "That sounds lonely," He replied, sounding genuinely sad for her. He knew he would be nothing without Caleb or Paige or even Marie-Laure, if he could count the witch as a friend, which he did. "You've still got time to change that," He added, but then she decided to answer his initial question, the one regarding whether or not she was dating, and Quinn fell silent. He was happy, glad that Fane wasn't touching her, though he assumed the pervert was hanging around older girls, now that he could. He didn't want Odette to know how her answer pleased him, so instead he decided to change the subject.

"You guys got a dog!" He announced, as if it were some sort of realization he just had. "She's sweet! But then again, it's obvious I love dogs," He added, to which his step-dad embarked on a story about his golden retriever he had when he was just a boy and growing up. Quinn feigned interest, but stole glances at Odette. She had done what he had desired but she was miserable and that bothered him. He wanted to fix things, but if it meant he'd let her get her heart broken by Fane Blevins one more time, he knew it was a cause that couldn't be helped.

Odette sat there for a second and bit her lip as her mother said something about her just being dramatic. 'Yes, because I've talked about school, oh so jovially.' she thought to herself and stared at her food. However, when Quinn made the comment about it being lonely she felt her blood run cold. It was lonely. She had nobody to talk to, and nobody would listen. She couldn't go to their mother about her problems, yes she loved the woman, but she didn't want to have her have to deal with that.

But when Quinn said she had time to change that, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep for laughing. Not too late? It was too late. She wasn't going to pass go, or collect two-hundred dollars. She was going to be alone in that school for the rest of her seventh year. Quentin didn't get it. He had friends, he had a girlfriend and then he'd asked her to stop seeing the one friend she'd made. True Fane probably wasn't the best choice for a friend that she could have picked, but that was what she ended up. She blinked back the angry tears in her eyes and looked up to see Quinn listening to some story that their step dad was telling. "Um, I'll be right back.." She said, excusing herself.

Walking out of the room she went to the backyard and sat on the steps of the porch. She just needed a minute away from her family. Maybe she was better off being alone. It was lonely, but you didn't have to rely on anyone...at least, not remotely.

Quinn watched as Odette excused herself and gave her a few minutes head start before deciding to follow her. "I, ummm, forgot to feed my dogs," He lied, before placing his napkin on his empty plate and standing up.

It took him a few moments to figure out where she had gone but soon enough he had found her silhouette on the back porch. He grabbed a blanket from a nearby couch before heading outside.

His steps were gentle and muffled in the brisk night air and he hoped he hadn't frightened Odette as he lowered the blanket onto her back. "It's freezing out here," He noted, before taking a seat besides her and wrapped the other half of the blanket around him.

"What's wrong, Odette?" He finally asked, after a moment of silence. He rubbed his cold hands against his face in frustration. "It's like ever since you started with Fane, you've been miserable. You've been upset with me and upset with Mom and I just don't get it." Quentin paused and watched as a deer emerged from the woods and walked across their snowy yard. "I thought by having you cast him aside, things would get better. But you're sad and not making friends." Quentin added. "I don't know how to help you, Odie, I really don't," He confessed. "Maybe it's best that we're both out of each other's lives forever, since it appears I've just ruined yours even further." He paused again. The deer had heard the desperation in his voice and was frightened away. "I probably hurt Mom and Dad as well...thinking that I could get them back together," He scoffed and then sniffled a bit. "I'm not sad, not really though. I like my job and I like my dogs and living with Caleb. Wish I saw my girlfriend a little more, but then again, maybe it wasn't meant for us to work out." He placed a hand on Odette's shoulder. "Listen, I want you to be happy," He sighed. "Even if that means dating a boy. Just try to be smart about it, alright? Fane might be an okay friend or whatever but he's not good boyfriend material, trust me." He gave Odette a squeeze and then stood up, letting the blanket slip off of his shoulders. "We should head back in before they start to worry about us."

Odette sighed as Quinn came outside and sat beside her giving her advice which she didn't ask for. After he'd finished she just laughed, he didn't get it. He didn't understand, and she didn't know how to make him. "When, since you've been here have you heard me say I want a boyfriend, Quinn? When have you heard me say that I want you out of my life, Quinn?" She asked him getting kind of ticked off. "I wanted you back in my life so badly Quinn. I've worked my ass off to get my grades to straight A's. I moved in with mom and I stopped talking to Fane." She said trying hard to keep the control in her voice and finally sighed. "I've turned my whole life upside down trying to get you back."

She looked at her hands. "I know I'm lonely, but every single time I sent you a letter, I received nothing. I understand you're mad, but I'm trying just as hard as you are. I know it took guts to come here today and like I said, I know I'm lonely, but I thought maybe getting my brother back would fill that void. However, I understand if you want to not see me again..." She trailed off, fighting off the tears in her eyes and stood up. "I'm sorry for the dramatics..." She said and wiped her eyes. "Merry Christmas."

He could tell she was angry and he didn't blame her. He messed everything up so much with his dumb dreams and his stupid overbearing personality. He just often liked people and when he liked them he felt like he had to care for them. That's why he worked at a daycare, so he could help people by loving them. However, it had ruined Odette, he was sure. He listened to her coldness and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Odette, you don't have a life without me," Quentin commented, and it was true. "I didn't shut you out to be cruel. I shut you out because you didn't know how to take care of yourself if I wasn't. You didn't play with anyone else but me. I can't be your only friend, Odette. I have a life without you but you can't live without me and that is not right." He enforced, moving closer towards the door. "But it's not too late to change." He trailed off and then opened the door. "Merry Christmas to you too, Odette."

Odette glared into the woods behind their house as Quinn admitted that he'd ruined her. Everything was making sense, and he was right. She did not know how to function well without him. Everything that she'd done to try to 'fix' her life had been because of him and now he was going to leave her in the dark. "Guess that the perk of being the eldest." She whispered and stood. She balled up her fists and walked past him, accidentally bumping into his shoulder as she went, but didn't stop to say she was sorry, nothing.

She quickly ran up to her room and slammed the door shut and locked it quickly. "ARGH!" She screamed and slammed her fist against the door and blinked back her  hot tears. "Don't you dare cry!" She told herself and bit her lip hard. "Merry Christmas..." She laughed a little to herself and pulled at her black hair. "And  what is so jolly about Christmas?" She yelled, not to anyone particular. "Thanks for the great gift..." she whimpered and let a few tears slip, but once they had fallen, the flood gates opened. "I hate you...I hate everything.." She sobbed and kicked the wall and the dresser feeling the anger built up inside her.

"You ruined me..." She whispered. "This is all of your fault....and now you're going to leave me in the dark...again." she whispered as if she was talking to her brother and let the tears fall again as if she was remembering a happy moment in the past and quietly prayed to herself. "Well Quinn, You are my big brother...and big brothers know best.."

Quinn closed his eyes in pain as Odette stood up angrily and bumped him and as she stomped into the house. It wasn't that the contact hurt him, it was her words. She didn't understand. He shook his head, hearing her run into her room and slam the door. "You're worse than the kids at daycare," He noted, with a heaving sigh.

He stumbled into the house, kicking the sofa in a small spur of anger. "I'm your brother! Not your parent!" He yelled. "I'm not supposed to take care of you! I'm not supposed to take the blame for your actions," He choked on his tears and then gasped as his mom entered the room.

"Is everything alright, Love?" She asked, looking small and fragile in the moonlight with a worried look on her face.

Quinn put on a false grin and then wrapped her in an embrace. "It's fine. Dinner was great, but I think it's best a leave now."

"Before opening your presents?"

He heaved a sigh, closing his eyes. He wasn't a kid anymore and knew Christmas wasn't a miracle, just an advertisement gold mine for stores to make money. "I want Odette to have a good Christmas and whether I am here or not will probably just ruin it for her either way," He admitted. At least if he was gone, they wouldn't be arguing. "I don't think she'll leave her room until I leave the house. Sorry for causing such drama," He apologized and gave his mother one last hug. She told him to wait a moment, then disappeared and reappeared with a box of leftovers and his wrapped presents. He accepted them, kissing her on the cheek and then went to gather his bag and dogs before heading out into the dark and snowy night. "At least you two still like me," Quentin noted, looking down at his faithful pooches. "Spending Christmas with the dogs...can't get worse than this, right?" With a crack in the crisp air of the night, the blue haired man and the dogs disappeared.