Lonely Lounge

Christian had thought that returning to the palace would cure him of his mopey, depressed attitude all the time, but it simply didn't. The only thing it did for him was teach him how to semi-act like he okay once in awhile. But at least here people didn't stop talking when he walked in the room and stare at him like they were waiting for him to shatter into a million pieces. At least here most people didn't know his final parent died, and he had been too heartless to care. At least here he could tell people didn't care enough to pretend like they wanted to help him. Once in awhile though he would still get someone that acted like he was a poor soul who just needed a hug, which if anyone knew him would know no matter what that was the last thing he ever wanted. The only way to solve that problem other than hiding in his dorm all the time, which was boring after awhile, was to go hang out in the Prefect Lounge. He had learned the two previous years that Quidditch Captains were allowed there, and he learned that most prefects didn't spend a lot of time there. So he knew if he decided to go visit it was mostly likely going to be empty.

When he walked in and looked around he found he had assumed right. He ended up laying upside down on one of the sofas with his feet over the back and his head dangling over the front. He lay there thinking about the way his father had always treated him and questioned if it wasn't a bad thing he didn't care about his death. But in the end he just came to the same conclusion he had gotten all summer, his own father who had help bring him into the world, who had feed and took care of him when he had no one else, had died and he was too heartless, cold, and empty to even spare him a tear or a thought of sorrow. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door open to the lounge and he lifted his head up to see who it was.

What prefectship meant to Linette was access to the one room in the whole school the majority of the population was not allowed to go. That is, her younger sister was not allowed to go. That and the prefects' bathroom. Much nicer than sharing with every other girl in her year. She didn't waste any time in getting herself acquainted with these two rooms. The whole prefect thing really was rather fun, especially helping the little first years, so maybe the headmistress knew what she was doing after all.

With a book under her arm (one she actually needed to read) she opened the door to the prefect's study and smiled at the only other occupant. "Christian! I forgot you would be allowed in here with your captaincy and all. She dropped into a chair opposite him. "So how often do you come in here? I think I'll be visiting a lot. It beats those dusty unused classrooms don't you think? Anyway how was your summer? Better than mine I hope."

The whole point of being in the prefect lounge was to escape the constant companionship of any student that decided the captain needed a friend. It got him out of his dorm as well which was starting to get old. Just when he thought he found the perfect place to hide away alone someone else had to walk in and ruin it. Though he had to admit that of everyone that it could have been he was happy to see it was Linette. She was in a very cheerful mood which could be a potential problem when conversations started and Christian contributed very little to the conversation in his state.

"Oh hey Linette, congrats on the prefect-ship-ness. And welcome to one of the quietest place in the palace. I don't come here often but its nice." He paused before answering her question about his summer cause he didn't really wanna go around telling everyone of his crappy summer but he wasn't going to act like it was all cheery and sunshiney around Linette, who would probably see through his bull crap anyways. "Well if my summer was better than yours I am oh so very very sorry." He finally answered deciding that was on the best answers to give her. He finally swung he feet of the back of the couch and finally came to laying position across the sofa. It wasn't a swift movement, though most of his movement these days weren't.

"Thank you," she replied with a wry smile. "I think the Headmistress must have been having a soft moment when she chose me. Before I came to Beauxbatons I never thought of myself as much of a leader now I lead the school magazine and I've got this." She flicked her finger at the badge pinned to her uniform. "Quietness is just perfect for readingness. I get so easily distracted when there are people around."

Her eyebrows rose at his words. "That bad? Well since I don't know what exactly happened I won't tell you my summer time experience." She tapped the cover of her book as she considered the words she'd just spoken. Ever since her parents divorce Linette had lived in a world of denial. Then Louise had to shake that world up. Maybe she should speak to Christian after all. "I've just had, hopefully, the last summer I'll ever have with my brother." Or maybe not. The thing with Louise still rankled too much for her to speak of it. Oh well it'll probably become clear enough at the first Quidditch match of the year.

Christian only half listened to Linette's answer since he was mostly making small talk. But he did hear most of it and when she was done he turned his head to give her a small smile, that probably looked obviously forced. "The Headmistress couldn't have made a better choice for prefect this year. You're a great leader, and I guess now you gotta embrace that." He said trying to be positive for once, though it was easier to be positive for someone else than himself. He had meant what he said though even if it did seem like empty words, like most of his words these days. If he had the job of assigning club leaders or prefects he would have said Linette without a pause for thought, she was pretty amazing at it.

He completely understood when she said she didn't want to talk about her summer cause he knew crappy summers didn't make the best story time stories with just anyone. He respected that and didn't press it, not the in his current frame of mind he really cared anyways. However she continued on to tell him about her summer. "You have a brother? And he's so bad you didn't tell anyone or don't want to see him anymore?" He asked curiously. "I wouldn't go hating him too much though." He added thinking about his hatred for his father that caused his current state of depression. He wasn't sure why he was still here talking with her, anyone else and he would have run off to be alone in his dorm, Linette seemed to have a special affect on the teen.

"Hadn't I mentioned him before?  I was sure it was to you that I let that slip quite by accident."  Third year with melted ice-cream and Linette accidentally let something about her brother slip.  What she'd actually said in regard to him completely escaped her but she could recall mentioning him.  Now, thinking she'd already let that information out, she'd learnt she could have kept her mouth shut and then may have been able to convince Christian Louise really wasn't her sister.  "He goes to Durmstrang.  This is his final year there."  

There was a long list of reasons why Benoit was that bad.  Where could she possibly start?  Christian's comment though moved her focus from her brother's faults to something else entirely.  "I don't hate him.  Not really.  He's just one of those people who gets under my skin and you must know that takes great skill."  Out of an entire school Linette could only think of one person who could do that as easily to her as her brother and that was only because of the shared parentage.  She stretched out a little as she moved on to share something with Christian she'd never said to anyone else, "I think things might have been different if my parents hadn't divorced.  All of us would have been here instead of separated.  I can't say I still wouldn't argue with Benoit.  We have always argued for as long as I could remember.  It just would have been different."

The only thing Christian could think about was how quiet it probably was back in his dorm, but he liked Linette and she seemed to want to talk about her bad summer. Since he was starting to become the expert on crappy summers and it was one of his best mates he decided he could stick around. Though he wasn't sure how much positive support he could give her in his current state of depression. He tried to forget about how heartless he was and force his empty shell to maybe be helpful to some else.

Once she said something about mentioning her brother before he faintly recalled a brief mention of him a few years ago. He couldn't remember anything more just the mention of him. He listened though to her words about the brother attending another school and a divorce that ruined the relationship. "I wish I could say I understand and empathize with you but I don't have siblings, or parents for that matter..." He said trailing off there at the end. "Also my parents split before I was old enough to remember. But I can imagine how rough it must be to get used to having them both just to have them split like that." He said trying to keep the topic on her and help her instead of talking about his state of orphanage that he kind of let slip there. "I'm sure if you have someone that always wants to push your buttons around it would get rather annoying rather fast. Sorry I'm crap help." He said lamely. Maybe it was a mistake to stay here and try to be kind, he obviously wasn't capable of kindness and it was a waste of everyone's time to even try.

"Or parents?" The question came out without Linette thinking it through before hand. "I thought you had a father." She slapped a hand over her mouth as she realised what that might me. "Oh. Christian I'm sorry. I hadn't known." Her mind whirled as she tried to figure out what on earth she was meant to say in a situation like this. As mad as she'd been at her parents divorcing and her mother's decision to move to another country at least they were both still alive.

She leaned forward and reached out hand to Christian's knee. "You don't have to be any help. I don't need help. I've dealt with having a split family for..." She paused as she counted up the years in her head, "...eight years now." Though considering how long she'd struggled to keep it a secret it may have been debatable as to how well she'd handled the situation. "Would you like to talk about something else instead? Like perhaps how well Cerisier will do in Quidditch this year or my chances at keeping law and order amongst the younger students without leading them astray."

As expected his little slip about being parentless didn't go unnoticed. He gave her a half smile though when she apologized as if her slip up was the worst thing she'd ever done. He looked down at her hand on his knee before placing his over her's and looking up to meet her eyes. "Don't be sorry, please. You didn't know, of course you didn't I never told you so how would I expect you to know. Just don't be sorry okay, I'm not so you shouldn't be either." He said with a smile that actually touched his eyes. It had been quite some time since his smile was genuine enough to show in his green eyes.

He moved forward on his couch some to be closer to her as he listened. "That sounds like eight years too many." He said simply. "Why is this the first you're telling me of this. It seems to be something that obviously bothers you, I could have helped, or tried to help make it a bit easier." He said feeling as if he failed as a friend for letting her go through this alone. "As for quidditch Cerisier will be winning the cup and the little ones will have no trouble following my rules." He said unconcerned not really wanting to linger on that topic.

"Okay," Linette whispered as she met his gaze with one of her own. It was rather odd to see Christian smile. Really smile. He usually looked so not quite happy. Linette had never really given that much thought until now. She flushed as she realised where she'd placed her hand and slipped it out gently from under his back to her lap.

She tapped her fingers on her book as she tried to come up with a plausible explanation for that. Why had she been so careful to keep her family life a secret? Linette sighed and shrugged. "I think that if I didn't talk about it then maybe things would turn out to have been nothing but a dream." She gave a small depreciative laugh. "I should have known better. It was really Louise I think that has a lot to do with me talking about it now. If she hadn't returned to France I think I might have..." She trailed off and shrugged. The argument with her sister still rankled and Linette wasn't sure how to fix the problem without swallowing her pride.

Quidditch was a nice way of moving away from the bad and ugly of family or lack of family. "You'd better make sure you do. I'm not going to be able to announce every game this year but you can guarantee I will be watching from the stands when I don't."

When Linette moved her hand out from under his Christian drew his back as well not really registering the action he had taken moments before in placing it there. He felt a some heat rising to his cheeks at the realization, something that was all together a new thing for him. He was so used to being completely confident in what he does, well until it came to his male mates but they never made him blush.

He tired to ignore that though and listen to her answer about her family situation, which was way easier than talking about his own. He listened kindly but knowing he probably wasn't going to have anything to say that she hadn't already heard, or was expecting to hear much like he felt when talking about these things. However he soon learned that they had more in common than he had thought, he never spoke of his mothers death because he was always secretly hoping that one day she would come for him and not really be dead. He thought saying it aloud to someone would make it true for sure. He wantedto tell her he understood but realized she probably wouldn't believe him. He noticed her trail off at the end and raised an eyebrow curiously. "Hey you alright?" He said meeting her gaze, he was very unskilled in the art of reading emotions but he could still give it a try.

"It'll be nice to know I have someone rooting for me up there." He said with a small smile.

She tried to shrug off his concern but it was really hard when Louise kept popping up in her head. Why hadn't she liked the idea of having her sister look up to her? Or desire to be her shadow? She bit her lip and shrugged again. "Oh I just had a little argument with my sister over the summer and we haven't really exchanged two words since. It's just one of those things siblings do from time to time." In her brother's case all the time but Linette didn't want to get into that. Just the holidays to get through and she could limit the amount of time in his company.

"That's my job. Rooting for the best Captain up in the air." She grinned at him. "You are much better in my eyes than Osmund. He can't smile like you and he has a little issue with everything." And everyone it seemed. "You should smile like that more often."

Christian wasn't sure what exactly it was specifically besides the divorce that she said wasn't bothering her. Though usually problems came in bunches instead of one at a time. While he knew that probably couldn't help, or even empathize with her he wanted her to be able trust and confide in him. She told him that this summer she had a small argument with her sister but they hadn't talked since then. He was willing to bet that the argument wasn't a little one if they haven't talked since but he didn't know what to say to help her any so instead he just place a hand on her knee. "She'll come around eventually." He said with a small smile in attempt to at least be somewhat helpful.

For all Christian knew Linette was just saying she liked him over Oz as a captain because he was here at the time and she was also a Cerisier and not because of his actually captain skills, but it was still nice to hear. At her words about him smiling like that more often he instinctively smiled brighter. "I'll work on that." He told her genuinely planning on doing that. Why that random compliment lead him to do what he did next he wasn't sure. The Cerisier leaned forward and took Linette's chin between his thumb and forefinger lifting her face up enough to lightly plant a kiss on her lips. He only did this for a short while before moving back not wanting to put her in the same position his friends had put him in multiple times.

The hand he placed on her knee was comforting. Had hers been when she'd placed it on his knee. "Possibly. Maybe even before I do." Though Linette really wasn't sure at all if Louise ever would after the way Linette had treated her. "I think I may just have to open up to her more." The thought of allowing Louise to have what she dreamed of having with her sister terrified the Cerisier.

Linette's eyes widened in surprise as Christian took her chin between his finger and thumb. They closed as he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips. When he pulled back she opened her eyes again and touched her lips with her fingers whilst smiling. "Now that was better than I ever imagined my first kiss to be," she said dreamily. "Would you like to try it again?" Books had never really given her much to go on when reading about kissing couples. Reality was better than the fantasy.

What good was Christian doing in this conversation, he doesn't have siblings and never has. He has two cousins who he's only ever spent extensive time with this previous summer. So he really had no experience in any of this sibling conflict, he didn't know what was normal sibling behavior and what was something to be concerned about. He wasn't completely daft though and assumed not talking for so long was a bad thing, but how to fix that was beyond him. "Yeah if you think that will work. Just do what you thinks best I'n sure you know a lot more than I do." He said lamely, giving no help at all.

Instead of putting Linette in the awkward situation of being stuck in a long awkward kiss she wanted nothing to do with, as Christian had previously, he made sure to keep his kiss light and short. If she was against it hopefully that wasn't enough to upset her too much and at least she wouldn't have to work to get out of it. Luckily that didn't seem to even be a problem, she actually seemed to have the opposite reaction. He had to admit it was kind of cute the way she touched her lips as if she didn't believe what happened or as if hiding the smile that was clearly visible behind her fingers. Going through what he had the past year or two with his friends he was just so used to the idea of kissing, not comfortable with it yet, but used it the idea of the action, that it never occurred him that his friend hadn't even had her first yet. He was finally someones first which was kind of cool to think about, even cooler when she said it was better than she ever imagined. He smiled at her question, "Those are pretty high standards now I don't know." He answered with a smirk and a wink. He placed his hands on both sides of her face before leaning in and kissing her once more.

Linette wasn't sure at all she knew better than Christian.  Other than holidays where she'd been forced to be in the company of her brother and sister she'd been more or less like an only child until Louise decided to move back to France.  However, she'd had enough of talking about her family problems.  There was plenty of time later to think on the subject further.

This time Linette wasn't so surprised when he touched her face.  She closed her eyes and leaned into the expected kiss.  Now why had she waited so long to experience something like this.  What she should have done was corner Christian long before this.  There was no-one else Linette could picture kissing.  Osmund was too much like a sourpuss and no-one else in her year came to mind.  

She eventually pulled back and smiled at Christian.  "Now that was something worth waiting for."