A Change of Scenery

Osmund knew Christian well enough that it wasn't natural for him to be spending that much time alone in his room like the boy had been doing since the year started. At first Osmund passed it off as a bad week, a bad few weeks, a bad month. But soon Osmund was catching on that something was wrong. Besides classes, quid ditch practices and meals, Osmund never saw Chris anymore and he had to admit he was sort of missing the presence of one of his best mates. Whatever Christian was brooding about, Osmund was going to get him to spit it out and get the boy to snap out of his little mopey phase. Osmund was the one who was supposed to brood and honestly dealing with himself was enough. He didn't need a downer of a friend as well.

The montagnard found himself at the door of Christian's dorm, knocking at the door. No doubt Christian would be in because honestly Osmund hardly saw him out anywhere else. When the door swung open, Osmund offered out some sort of smile then latched his hand onto Christian's wrist. "Come with me!" He ordered and practically pulled the Cerisier out of his cave and lead him down the halls. The boy needed a change of scenery from his own dorm and Osmund wasn't going to talk to him until he got him away from his hiding hole.

He took themselves to the one place where Osmund hated and was sure Christian did as well, the garden. Well Osmund wasn't sure about Christian, but he figured anywhere that wasn't the confinements of his dorm would be unpleasant. Osmund wasn't a big fan of flowers, seeing them as more of bug attractors than being beautiful themselves. He brought themselves to a gazebo and forced Christian to sit. "What the hell is going on? I never get to see you anymore!" Osmund started. He wanted to get to the bottom of this.

Beauxbatons was supposed to be his escape from all of these thoughts that brought him down, but it wasn't. The place had always been like a second home to him, since he wasn't fond of his first, but now it was like his only home. His uncle meant well and only wanted the teen to feel happy and welcomed but it just wasn't a home to him. Whenever he actually left his room everyone got quiet and watched him as if he was a delicate glass vase tipping off the edge of its stand. It was as if they all expected him to break at any minute and they talked as if they were afraid of being the ones to push him off the edge to his breaking point. He had thought at school that would all go away because no one else knew about the events of that summer, but here he only felt out of place. He was the only one walking around the school, besides his cousins, that knew how....how horrible he is. They all thought of him as the quidditch captain, club leader, and hard working, but he knew better than all of them he knew there was nothing good in him he was a hard, cold, heartless, shell.

He tried to act like things were the same as always and of course he attended all his normal things but he stayed in a lot more. And for the most part no one seemed to pay enough attention to him to realize that anything was different about the teen, for while he was out of his room he acted like he always has. It was only his roommate who seemed to notice and he didn't tell anyone, for what ever reason. He thought he was pulling it off nicely until his mate came a-knocking. He was prepared to put on his normal act until he was yanked from his dorm by the arm. "What the bloody hell are you doing Oz?" He questioned but he couldn't seem to get an answer so he just followed, not that he was getting a choice it was either follow or be dragged along. Finally they entered the garden that Christian was almost never in and the walked into the gazebo where Osmund forced him to sit before demanding to know what was wrong. He sighed realizing then that maybe his act wasn't as good as he thought, so he let the act drop. "Leave it to you to see this." He started simply, back to his normal tone, or normal for him now a days. "I just like to spend time alone this year...to prepare for the OWLs... and study quidditch techniques for the team...and think of topics for SAQ." He said making up excuses as he went. Though he was sure before this was all over his mate was going to learn the truth.

There was no time for explanation and Osmund wasn't going to give any. He could hear the confusion from Christian as he pulled the boy along the castle, but made no noise or action to imply that he was taking notice of him. They could talk all they wanted once they got there, but not a word before.

Sitting among the flowers in the gazebo, Osmund scorned at the place he had to go just to get Christian some sunlight. This had better be worth it. But the boy was now not talking. Well, he was telling him no truths, which Osmund saw through straight away. "Five years and you think that your best mate still doesn't know you? You never seemed to have had a time management problem before" Osmund replied, coldly. This was Christian's time to talk now. He didn't see why he was throwing away this golden opportunity. No one was around to overhear and Osmund wouldn't breath a word to another soul if that was what Christian wished.

Osmund took a seat next to Christian, letting out a sigh. "Remember what happened last year when I kissed you as a joke and you kissed me back, but you asked me to tell no one about that? Well, does anyone else know about that besides you a me?" Osmund coaxed, looking Chris in the eye. "You can trust me. Just tell me what's wrong so I don't have to watch my best mate sulk all day and not have to feel useless!"

If he was going to be honest about the whole situation Christian had honestly thought that not even Oz , Xaior or Linette would care enough to notice his strange behavior this year. Which now that he thought about it sounded completely horrible, for obviously they cared for him or they wouldn't have acted the way they did last year. They had stuck with him for five years which was enough proof to show they were real friends. Thinking back on it now he added it to the steadily growing list of reasons why he was a heartless person, if he thought that little of his best mates so easily. He sighed heavily when Oz basically told him he wasn't buying and of his bull crap, he realized he was going to have to spit it out before he could leave.

Christian's jaw tightened at the reminder of the kissing incident from the year before. After his father had died all his thoughts about what all of that could've meant to him disappeared. Now that he knew how bad he was, he decided it didn't matter what any of that meant anyways. He had actually almost completely forgotten about it, but now the memories came rushing back and he had to admit that he was glad no one else knew about that. He didn't need Osmund to tell him he could trust the boy, Christian knew he could, he knew he could tell him it all and no one else would know. But that wasn't the problem, the problem was Oz would know and he didn't want that to change his best mates opinion of him.

When it was obvious he had no other choice he finally met his mates eyes steadily. "You really want to know? There's nothing you can do about any of this that I'm about to tell you just so you know that going in. All you can do is listen, its all done and over now. Some of it has been like this since you've met me, I just didn't realize it till now. But if you really wanna know I'll tell you I promise." He said looking his mate in the eyes to let him know how serious he was. There really wasn't anything he could do, maybe insert a 'Oh I'm so sorry' cheer up attempt that he had heard a lot.

Osmund didn't know why Christian had to be so stubborn about certain stuff. He was sure that he wasn't the only one in Christian's life that the boy could trust. He still had family that he got along with, though Quinn and Odette seemed a bit too young to really understand. Christian also had Xavior and he was pretty sure Christian got along much better with Linette than he himself did. That's more than enough people to talk to and yet it took someone dragging him out of his hiding place and having to force it out of him.

Finally Christian was caving and Osmund looked at Christian sincerely. "Do you think I did all of this for fun? I hate flowers and look where I am!" Osmund replied, as if it hadn't been clear before that he wanted Chris to talk to him. "Actually, lets just talk about the weather instead. It's been a bit too humid recently and it's been uncomfortable," Osmund was just being snarky now. "Of course I want you to say whatever bloody thing is eating you!"

Christian was still very worried about telling anyone what he's been thinking about so much. What if he seemed like the worst person in the world to everyone else as he appeared to himself, or what if they blew it off as no big deal and didn't understand why it was such a big deal. The later was probably what he was most concerned with. especially after the apology he had been so nervous about had been practically laughed off by the boy the year before. He simply didn't know how he was going to word it so that his friend could see it the same way he did, and the last thing he wanted was for his mate to tell him he was being ridiculous about the whole situation.

With Osmund's answer he was quickly brought back to reality with who he was talking to. He had been very dramatic about ask Oz if he really wanted to know this because he was trying to buy himself some time. But with his mates words he only felt stupid about it all again. He wanted nothing more than to run back to his room in solitary, he was positive there would be no one he would understand. Since that was obviously not an option with Oz right now he accepted the fact that he had to say something. "Alright, alright I get it. Dial down the sass I'm talking." He said in an attempt of lightening everything but it was an obvious failure. "Best to start from the beginning on the summer. I didn't spend a single night under my own roof, instead I had to live with my cousins and uncle. Because the minute I got off the carriage I learned that my father died" He said simply as if it was no big deal but he ended it there though there was much more to be said.

Osmund ignored the comment about him being sassy. He just wanted to get to the bottom of it so he didn't have to feel so worthless watching Christian be miserable all the time. Maybe Christian was right and there was nothing he could do about it, but what sort of friend would he be if he didn't even try? Or if he didn't even ask? Surely it would've only made matters worse if Christian mulled over the fact that something was blatantly wrong in his life and no one around him cared enough to notice. Surely that would only make him feel more alone and worse.

The Montagnard didn't know what he was expecting the answer to be, but it certainly wasn't what he had gotten. "That's a bit of a downer, really," Osmund replied, not really knowing what else to say. That it was his father's time? He's in a better place? Those were all lies and Osmund wasn't one to lie to make other's feel better. He reached out and took ahold of Christian's hand in his own and stroked it a bit. It was unreasonable for him to think like he was in that moment, but Osmund thought Christian was actually sort of attractive among all of the flowers and wouldn't have minded kissing him instead of taken his hand. Getting back to reality, Osmund said without thinking, "He was sort of an asshole though."

From his experience living with Christian and his father the previous year, Mr. D'Angelo did nothing to contribute in Christian's life. Maybe paid the bills, but it was always Christian who was cooking meals and the man never uttered a single word to Osmund since he had been living under the same roof as him. He had never seen the man talk to his son either.

The answer was fairly close to the one that Christian had been expecting to hear from his mate, and he had already heard from his family, only less blunt. But of course like them he didn't seem to understand that there was more than that, though the only way they would know that is if they were mind readers or really really good with body language. He had barely made an attempt to explain it to the others but he felt like telling someone now. He wasn't sure why he suddenly decided he wanted to tell someone the real reason for his depression for the past few months.

He had been about to open his mouth to explain farther when Osmund took his hand and started stroking it. He continued to say that his father was sort of an asshole. Both those combined were certainly the cause of his next actions. "That's not the point really. You don't understand." He said, before curling up on the small bench and placing his head in his mate's lap. He had his knees tucked up near his chest on the small bench and he felt like a child. "My father wasn't sort of an asshole, he was a complete asshole. But that's not the problem, the problem is I didn't care. I didn't care at all that my own flesh and blood, the man responsible for my existence died and I didn't spare him a single thought. I didn't go to his funeral, I haven't visited his grave and the last time I was near anything involving him I spat in his office. And you know what I'm not sorry for any of that. What does that make me Oz?" He said after his talking. He realized as he said it all that even though he had been trying to make himself care he still didn't, not in the slightest. He trust Osmund to tell him the truth about himself now. Of all his friends he was sure to be the one to bluntly tell him how heartless he was.

Osmund had to admit he doubted Chris would accept the touch of his hand, let alone rest his head in Osmund's lap. His hazel eyes widened at the shock but he didn't move, rather he remained immobilized for a few moments, staring down at the brunette head in his lap, and listened to what the boy had to say. When he relaxed, he let his hands fall beside Christian's head, not touching it.

A laugh shook Osmund's body as Christian corrected him, saying his old man was an asshole. He immediately regretted it when Christian bore a look of despair that told him it wasn't a joke. His face fell and his eyes gleamed with sympathy for the boy. Laying there in his lap, his body tucked in on itself, Christian looked pathetic. He looked so sad and weak and a part of Osmund ached a bit seeing someone he cared about hurt. He heaved a sigh, then moved his hand to Christian's hair and stroked it, like he would Pellinore's fur. "Oh Christian, what are we going to do with you," Osmund sighed, his hazel eyes still gazing down at Christian. He knew he couldn't help, but he could talk Christian through it.

"You know what that makes you?" Osmund spoke, unusually gently. "It makes you human," he answered, and he meant it. No one was perfect. People were always trodden on each other whether or not they meant to just to live. So what if Christian didn't feel anymore remorse for the man that treated him like nothing but an acquaintance? "Christian, just because your parents created you, doesn't mean that you owe them anything," he told him, thinking about Helena, the woman who had birthed him and how he didn't need her just because of that fact. He tensed up a bit, thinking that by the silent treatment she had been giving him, he was getting the message that she didn't need him either. "What has your father ever given you that was worthwhile?" He asked.

After keeping it all to himself for so long Christian had to admit that it was nice to finally tell someone what was really eating at him. He didn't want to tell his little cousins because they were too little and it was their uncle so they were probably effected some too, and the same for his uncle who might have kicked him out of the house if he knew how the teen felt about his fathers death since the man was his brother. He had also been afraid that they would all just sugar coat it and tell him that he wasn't a horrible person for that and it was okay to feel that way, all the while thinking ill of him. He hoped his mate wouldn't give him a similar answer, the last thing he wanted was to regret saying anything.

Under his head he felt his mate laugh at first which kind of made him feel like he wasn't being taken serious but it didn't last long. He closed his dark green eyes as he listened to Osmund's answer and he was pet. While it seemed silly at first to have his mate pet him as if a cat he had to admit it felt nice. The answer he got from Oz however he wasn't so sure about, he knew he was only trying to help but it felt like an answer an adult might give him. He opened his eyes again but stayed where he was before answering. "That man gave me a home for the past five years when no one else would. I might be in some orphanage in England right now if not for him. Then when he dies I don't bat an eyelash, and you say I'm not heartless?" He said remembering the day five years ago when the people who came to find him a home after his mum died had come. They stood above him while he sat in the chair by the wall still crying from the death a few days ago. He remembered hearing them talk about how none of the mum's relatives wanted the child and then started talking about the best kid homes in the area. They had finally agreed on an orphanage when another suit clad adult walked in saying they had made contact with the father finally and he would take the boy. If not for that man he was still be in England and he would never have met all his friends, and he still didn't feel bad about his death.

Osmund was speechless as Christian made an arguable point. He remained silent for a moment, letting his mouth hang open for a bit, while his hands continued to rest in Christian's hair. He looked down at the boy in his lap, examining the misery on his face. The boy Osmund knew since his first year attending the school was convinced that he was a monster, but monsters didn't look like that. Christian was sorry for not being sorry and though it wasn't exactly the usual emotions that go along with someone who gave you a home, it was something at least. Christian wasn't completely emotionless.

So maybe he didn't care so much about his father to cry when he had passed away. Maybe there were stronger emotions than love that Chris felt for his father that got in the way of caring about the man's absence. The way Osmund was seeing it, Chris' relationship with his old man was no different than Osmund's with Mr. D'Angelo. The man gave them a home when they needed it, but little to no compassion. When Osmund thought about how screwed he would've been if the D'Angelo's refused to accept them into their home for a summer, Osmund was thankful, but he wasn't miserable to hear the news of his passing. Chris had received a similar treatment, but only one that lasted for a longer amount of time and probably had a few more benefits, including money, which stood to reason that Christian viewed his father as an acquaintance, and people don't view the passing of an acquaintance usually any more than an uttering of 'that is too bad.'

Osmund sighed as he knew he couldn't put any of those thoughts into words to convince Christian. It was like Christian didn't want to be told how to feel better, like how a few years ago Osmund didn't want to be told that he was homosexual. He understood the frustration now, but he didn't feel like he was threatened by Christian. He just felt that he could argue with the boy until the sun burned out before he would admit he was right.

Taking one last chance to prove Christian wrong, Osmund opened up his mouth again and said, meekly, "Would you care if I died?" He paused and wetted his lips, being a bit shifty on the topic himself. After a slight pause, he added, "Or if Xavior did? Or Linette? Quentin or Odette?" Maybe he didn't care about his father, but that didn't mean he didn't care about anyone, did it? Osmund actually wasn't sure. But even if Christian answered 'No' to the first of the people mentioned, Osmund would be content if he had at least found one person that Chris cared about.

While Christian still wasn't changing is opinion about the situation he was starting to feel a bit better just laying there in Osmund's lap, as silly as that sounds. He couldn't begin to explain why, he just felt better with Oz there petting his hair and trying to help him. It sure beat laying in his dorm alone staring at the blank ceiling for sure. It stayed quiet for quite sometime and Christian took that as evidence that he was right since there was no easy way to say anything against it. He didn't have anything else to add now so he lay there silently with his eyes closed.

He opened his eyes again and listened when he heard his mate break the silence. What he said was something he was certainly not expecting. He stared straight ahead for a moment thinking about what he said before turning over to look straight up. He put his hand on Oz's face gently pulling it down to meet his eyes. "Why would you say something like that? Don't say that again, ever please." He said softly before turning back over to hide his face, hoping he had done so before Oz noticed the water starting to well in his eyes. "I'd be crushed." He said quietly hoping the lump that had formed in his throat didn't make him sound off.

Osmund was staring at Christian's closed eyes, his breathing slower and his heart pounding in his chest. He didn't realize how much he needed to know the answer, needed to know how much Christian cared about him. The two of them had became so accustomed to showing indifference towards each other that Osmund really didn't know. Did he matter at all to Chris?

The boy's eyes flicked open and Osmund stared into his pretty green eyes. There was a moment where he felt the warmth of Christian's hand on his face, forcing him to lean down and causing Osmund's heart to race. He felt silly thinking it, but for a moment, he thought Christian was going to kiss him. Unfortunately, his lips stayed away from Osmund's and only parted for him to speak. Osmund's eyes dropped and looked away from Christian, feeling a sudden guilt as Christian told him to never talk like that again. He paused, wondering whether or not this meant that Chris didn't give a shit about anyone, but suddenly the answer came, in a cracked voice that made Osmund look back at the hiding Chris out of concern.

His tense posture loosened, as his hand moved to Christian's arm and rubbed it. "You're not a monster," He started, his voice all the more gentle. Christian cared about him. "Monsters don't have any feelings at all, but clearly you do." He wetted his lips again and felt his heart beating. He was suddenly reminded of how close Christian was. The boy was resting in his own lap, for Merlin's sake! And whether it was because of the physical closeness or because Osmund knew Christian was trying his hardest not to cry, Osmund leaned down and made Christian face him before pressing his lips against Christian's and let them linger there for a moment before pulling away. His eyes stared at Christian for a moment after the kiss, trying to address the boy's emotion on his face.

Christian could now see what Oz was trying to accomplish by saying what he did. If he cared so much about the possible deaths of his friends and cousins he could be all bad. He was starting to believe that maybe he wasn't that bad after all for he was fighting back tears just think about that. But what if he was only upset about the idea of those deaths because he would then be all alone and he didn't really care about the people themselves being gone. Even as he thought that he knew it wasn't true, he cared for them, all of them, much more than he has ever admitted. Perhaps he wasn't such a horrible person but the fact still stood that his own father died and he was not only upset but happy, so he was still partially heartless.

He let Oz comfort him while he blinked away the unnecessary tears, it wasn't like they actually were dead it was just something his mate said to see his reaction. He didn't say anything in response to his mate telling him that he wasn't a monster, he was starting to believe that kind of and he didn't have anything more to say in protest to the statement, so he just let Oz rub his arm and comfort him.

One might think that at this point nothing would surprise him, especially with his male friends, but maybe it was because of the emotional state he was in. He simply wasn't prepared for what happened next. Oz moved Christian so that he faced him again before leaning down and pressing his lips against the Cerisier's. While taken by surprise he didn't freeze as he might have before, but instead he kissed back slightly and closed his eyes until it ended. He didn't know how to react now, or what to say, or do or anything, but Oz was obviously searching for his reaction. Christian's mind felt completely blank so he wasn't sure what the other boy was seeing on his face right now. He licked his lips a bit where his Osmund's had been only moments before while he tried to get some kind of answer out. "Thanks." He said lamely finally, he was referring mostly to the help he had given him earlier and not the kiss so much. In fact he was trying to make it seem as if he was unfazed by that and sort of brush it off and not even say anything about it as if it didn't happen. He then sat back up right again next to Oz. "I don't deserve friends this great." He said with a small smile glancing over.

Osmund couldn't hide his smile. He liked kissing Chris and he liked it even more when Chris kissed him back. He wasn't sure what to have expected of Chris as a response, but once the brief snog was over, Osmund could see no sign of tears left in his friend's eyes, which made him think he had done alright.

Christian sat upright, leaving the spot where he was resting before in Osmund's lap rather cold in comparison. Osmund tried to act like he didn't care, but he sort of wanted to continue to comfort Christian, even though Christian didn't seem half as mopey as he was before. He wasn't entirely sure that he actually cured him, but he figured he at least made him feel better for a single moment and smiled gently when Christian thanked him. He punched his arm in a friendly manner. "'course you do, you idiot," He said, and then chuckled gently.