Cliffs Edge

He could see it. The end of the term was just a few days away and the excitement in the air was palpable. Ryder could feel it, but instead of being excited about summer, he was dreading the future. Graduation seemed like a cliff and he was bout to walk off of it. He was nervous. Incredibly so. Everyone around him seemed so ready to part ways with Beauxbatons permanently, but Ryder... Ryder was not ready. He hadn't even decided what he was going to do this summer, let alone for the rest of his life.

He knew Mabel and Stark were there to support him. And if he could tear Wynter away from Rajan, he'd have her, too.

Ryder and Ben had already spoken about Ben's after school plans. He was staying in Los Angeles with Mariana to be a troupe dancer. Ben would never force Ryder to go with him, and Ryder would never beg him to stay. There was a layer of mist surrounding the future of their relationship, and while they had spent all of the year avoiding it and spending as much time together as possible, now was the time to confront it.

This time of year, the lake was deserted because of the end-of-year activities in the castle, so the boys agreed to meet there. Ryder had a poor habit of being late wherever he went, but he wouldn't dare be late to this. He showed up early and stood on the dock and waited. It had probably been ten minutes when Ben appeared. "Hi," he greeted. He smiled up at his boyfriend.

He wasn't sure how this conversation would go, but he swallowed back the lump in his throat. "Sh-should we sit?" Ryder asked nervously.

Talk about the future was always a stressful subject. It wasn't until last year that he knew what he wanted to do and it wasn't until the summer that it was set in stone. He and Mariana both had jobs lined up to be troupe dancer at a local theater. They planned to move up, Mariana wanted to be on tv and make it big. So did Ben, but not as much as his sister.

And then there was Ryder. His sweet, adorable boyfriend. What were the two of them going to do after school? He knew one thing, he loved his boyfriend. As the days passed, he grew more and more in love with the boy he was lucky enough to call his. His habits were endearing to him, even when he was being annoying. There were times where Ben wanted to flick his lovely boyfriend on the forehead, but he would always miss him if he were away for too long.

There was no avoiding the subject anymore, they had to talk about it. Ben just wasn't looking forward to it. He was a bit surprised to see Ryder waiting for him and him not having to wait for Ryder. Ryder was almost always late, which was something that annoyed Ben to no end but also something he had gotten used to. "Hey," he smiled shyly. He held out his hand and took Ryder's, giving it a squeeze. He didn't answer, instead, he placed a kiss to his boyfriend's lips then nodded. He let go of Ryder's hand to sit down and waited for his boyfriend to follow.

There was something about Ben that always made Ryder feel warm. Just being in his presence had the power to throw butterflies around his stomach and make Ryder want to do crazy things for his attention. His lips tingled where Ben's had touched and Ryder wondered how he did that.

He sat down next to Ben and silently wished he'd say something first, but it was hopeless. Ryder sighed. "This is so stupid. Graduating is stupid. I have to say goodbye to everything I know and all the friends I've made and this could possibly be the end and I don't feel ready," he blurted. "I don't want to never see you again, Ben. But I'd never tell you to stay here because that would be stupid and selfish. And I have no idea what I'm doing after this. I'd only hold you back."

Ben knew that he probably should have spoken up before his boyfriend did, he had always been better with words and could calmly talk about their future. Ryder, on the hand, could be blunt at times. He wanted to kiss him again to quiet him but he knew that it wouldn't have been the right thing to do. They needed to hear each other out and communicate, regardless of how hard it was to talk about. He needed to know how Ryder felt, he wanted to know. "This isn't the end of us," Ben promised. He held onto both of his boyfriend's hands and looked him right in the eyes. "I won't let it. I...I-" He paused for a moment, his eyes searching his boyfriend's. "I love you a whole lot, okay?" It had been the first time he had said that out loud, at least to Ryder. His older sisters were always asking about Ryder and gossiping to him, they wanted to know every little bit of everything.

"You would never hold me back, Ryder," he said sincerely. "You still have time, you don't have to have everything figured out. We're still young." But he knew he loved Ryder and he wanted him for as long as he'd have him. He didn't know if they would have forever, but he wanted them for what they'd have. "I'm not giving up on us." Usually, Ben was not big on PDA but there was no one around and the moment called for it. So, the boy wrapped his leg around Ryder and sat on his lap, facing him. "If you drop me, I'll fall into the lake. So don't drop me."

He placed a kiss on his boyfriend's lips once again before leaning his forehead against his. "You know, we could just run away and get married and never look back." Of course, he was kidding, he promised Mariana that he'd go with her. Also, he wasn't sure if either were ready for that big step, it seemed too soon. "Another thing to annoy your mother with," he giggled at his own joke.

Ryder sometimes had trouble looking people in the eye. He wasn't sure why, but he did. But he didn't flinch or shy away when Ben looked into them. Ryder trusted him enough to be vulnerable. Letting Ben in was never difficult. "Okay," he replied. He then realized that he had only answered Ben's question and not responded to the bigger half of the statement. After all, they'd never declared their love for each other before. It was always unspoken thing between the two of them."I-I love you, too," he replied. It felt kind of ridiculous to say out loud, because of course he did, but it also felt exciting.

"It feels like I'm out of time," he grumbled. He wanted to be grumpy, but he couldn't be grumpy for long because Ben had swung his legs over him. When prompted not to drop him, Ryder pulled his boyfriend closer. "I would never," he promised.

Ryder snorted. "You're not a citizen technically, so we couldn't get married, even if we actually wanted to. I'll find another way to annoy Mabel. It's the one thing anyone can count on." He leaned forward and stole a kiss, then pulled away and stuck his tongue out. He wanted to take advantage of the time they had left. "I guess we'll figure it out. I'm still nervous, though."

A smile spread across his lips and a blush across his cheeks at Ryder's words. He had known his boyfriend loved him, but it felt nice to hear it out loud. He wanted to hear him say it again and a million times more. He wanted to tell him a million times as well, he wanted to declare his love so Ryder would never forget. He pressed his lips to Ryder's cheek and nuzzled his head into his neck. He wanted to stay like this forever, but he knew they couldn't. "There's always time," Ben promised. He'd always find time for Ryder, he could promise that.

"That's too bad," Ben grinned. "I look good in a suit." Of course, Ryder had already seen him a suit when they attended the Valentine's Dance together. A wedding was much different than a silly dance. "Don't annoy her too much, okay? She is your mother, after all, she loves you." He placed his hand on his boyfriend's cheek and smiled at him. "Love always finds its way back. Even if we part, we'll come back to each other."

"I love you," he repeated, closing his eyes and resting his face on the side of Ben's head. His arms tightened around his boyfriend's waist and he wished they could stay that way. He let his boyfriend soothe him. There was no point in being worked up when he didn't have to be.

Ryder chuckled. "Oh, I know," he recalled with a smirk. "You might get to wear one to Wynter's wedding. If she ever decides on a date, I mean."

"I know, I know," he replied. "I love her back. She's just fun to mess with." Ryder knew for a fact that his mother found some of the things he did to be hilarious as well, so he didn't feel bad about teasing her. They had always been close, regardless of how poorly behaved Ryder had been at any given time.

"Of course we will. I mean, how hard is it to swim to Los Angeles?" he asked joked. "Can't be too difficult."